{"product_id":"retail-simps-real-simple-12","title":"*  RETAIL SIMPS- Real Simple 12\"","description":"\u003cp\u003eAfter hanging up their hats unceremoniously following an outburst on social media, the Simps saga seemed to have come to a close. The members went their separate ways, some concentrating on fatherhood, some their careers in neuroscience and others desperately plotting next moves in the predatory and fickle  entertainment industry. With little luck, save for a couple B movie cameos and a notable improvement in the relationship with an estranged son, the collective restlessness of the crew was mounting. Everyday woes plagued the group incessantly, the days blending together into a banal fever dream, but individually, each member knew that stark reality would catch up with them sooner or later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFast forward to a chill spring evening in Montreal over a few beers. Members of the Retail Simps, locked in a nostalgic ambience, casually peruse chart-metric, pontificating on the state of rock n roll, in what was meant to be an exorcism of futility and despair. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eJoe\u003c\/strong\u003e: jaws dropped when we realized that much to our surprise, the simps had posthumously  cracked the mainstream (placing 900 451th internationally for that week) blood swelled to our collective heads. And just like in march of 2022, the call was all too real. Just then, as the moon crested over little italy, a snap chat came through from none other than Rich of total punk records. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRich\u003c\/strong\u003e: When the Simps camp went quiet I have to admit I was a bit relieved. No more chasing the fading glory of their debut. No more of their troublesome ways, crazy marketing schemes, or late night drunken text from Joe demanding I find ways to garner more press to further feed his ever swelling ego. It seemed that in married life he had finally found inner peace. Which is why I was so surprised when I received the snap chat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Simps hadn't heard peep from the illustrious label magnate since they near bankrupted him with the release of their warts-and-all-grand-statement from the preceding year. For all the hype and conviction placed on the bands intended final opus “Tantric Decapitation”, sales had been sub-dismal. Critics that once aligned themselves with raw, unfettered rock had become poptimist reactionaries, and outlets that prided themselves on selling underground music to a selective and devout cognisenti recoiled in ambivalence.  Even a name change and contrived misdirection campaign wasnt enough to salvage the bands reputation. No. The simps had bottomed out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eJoe\u003c\/strong\u003e: As the snapchat played back ephemerally, i have none but the faintest memory of the transmission that came through. whatever it was, it was a plea, a call to arms from our now estranged patron. Rich always knew how to insight and stimulate us. At various times he had engineered multiple blatantly false situations to coopt the group into performing, recording and posing for  photographers. From the inaugural “corporate retreat” to an ill fated tour of Minnesota, Rich had worked the bands image into one of professionalism and elevated stature. Of course all that good will was squandered by the time we went kaput.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRich\u003c\/strong\u003e: I thought for sure the chart flopping bust that was their double LP would be the final nail in the coffin. Even the name change couldn’t save this bloated mess of a 69 minute live ‘opus’ (their words not mine.)  I tried to talk them out of it but Joe wouldn’t hear of it and when it failed he tried to put the blame on my doorstep. But that all seemed to be behind me now. I was enjoying a post-Simps life of leisure and I was able to throw the third Corporate Retreat without Joe demanding his inclusion, which may I add was the most successful of the three. Make what you want of that information. Which made it all the more disheartening when I received the message. Like a phoenix rising from a dumpster fire the Simps were back and recording a new record. I tried to convince them to give it to Goner, Feel It, In The Red … but it seems they weren’t done with me yet. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBack when grooming was referred to as mentorship, Joe and Obe had struck a chord over their shared experience of being born with perfect pitch. Once the rest of the group had coalesced over these two talented visionaries, the rest was history. Zak Slax had a knack for bringing out the jumpiness of the rhythm and Chris Burns played without pause. Fast forward to the fall of 2026, after a long and winding path to the bottom, the magic had resurfaced as Obe took on new responsibilities in the group, rising to the fore to guide them out of the hole that Joe had so profoundly dug. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eJoe\u003c\/strong\u003e: i sort of lost the plot at some point. In my mind we were doing our best work, but i alienated everyone around me. I guess my ego was out of check, the drugs didn’t help. We expanded beyond control, those long sessions with the orchestra in tow… those tapes will never see the light of day.Thank god Obe slapped some sense into me and brought me back to earth!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eObe\u003c\/strong\u003e: I feel like my place in the band is similar to the place of a investigative journalist infiltrating a cult or fringe subculture to report the debased going ons back to society and hopefully put a stop to anything getting way out of hand. It seems like I’m in far too deep to back out now, they made me write songs to prove I wasn’t a narc and next thing I knew we were “going to Europe”. I knew nothing about music before meeting these guys and somehow I know even less now. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRich\u003c\/strong\u003e: The Retail Simps cannon is full of idiosyncratic motivating factors. Whether its spite, soul searching, tail wagging, ego or pandering, there is always a fire lit under their asses. This time though, it felt like a clean slate. The idea was to keep it real and keep it simple.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith the new leadership split, the groups’ power was cemented. Where one voice and approach had informed the crooked direction of all things Simps for their long and winding sojourn into obscurity, the youthful vitality of bassman Obe had breathed fresh life into the groups sound. Behind the controls, he turned their heart of darkness coal into radiating diamond sound. The modus operandi of the new record was plainly stated:“Keep it simple stupid”, and with this back to basics rejuvenation, “Real Simple” was minted. Ifs 100% “something”!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ciframe style=\"border: 0; width: 100%; height: 406px;\" src=\"https:\/\/bandcamp.com\/EmbeddedPlayer\/album=2728666909\/size=large\/bgcol=333333\/linkcol=ffffff\/artwork=none\/transparent=true\/\" seamless\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/totalpunkrecords.bandcamp.com\/album\/real-simple\"\u003eReal Simple by RETAIL SIMPS\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/iframe\u003e","brand":"TOTAL PUNK","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46128499916883,"sku":"154RS","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0479\/4113\/files\/TPR154frontcover_dae13d3a-9a4c-45bb-89bd-5520f6e77c79.jpg?v=1788403812","url":"https:\/\/totalpunkrecords.com\/en-nz\/products\/retail-simps-real-simple-12","provider":"TOTAL PUNK","version":"1.0","type":"link"}